I must stop idealising the situation. The closer I get the more I feel something is just not right. Now I'm being a little skeptical. It takes two hands to clap, I can't help but to wonder if I'm on a solo trip yet again. Going solo is such a scary thing. Again I'm finding myself in a complicated mind game. I hate mind games. I really do hate them. If I don't get out soon I'll call for a stop. I already had enough of it years ago. I don't know where this is going, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the situation. I've been living in fantasy for almost a month, it's time to wake up, before it's too late.

"Assumptions make an asshole out of you and I." Haha I have to stop making assumptions! I cannot be so naive again. I'm scared of making a mistake again. I don't want to end myself up in deep shit again. Perhaps I'm being very paranoid here. But I'm really scared of having history repeating itself this time. Some assurance is all that needed to ease my fear and to pacify me.

I think I thought too highly of myself.

Seriously it's time to consider whether to terminate or not.

* * *

'How Deep Is Your Love' is supposed to be a very cheery song, but why does that saxophone version sound so sad to me? And the way the song sounds seems to coincident with my mood now.

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P/S: Updates. I don't know, but things might not be as bas as I thought. All the things that worry me just disappear the moment I see a PM window pops up. I really don't know.