I tried this time. I really did try very hard this time. But the results are so disappointing. All my goals are useless. I did not manage to achieve any of them. May be my expectations are too high. I had overestimated my abilities. I am just one stupid dumb asshole who suck at studies. I'm so disappointed with myself. I put in so much hard work, but what I've got is almost equivalent to what smart kids will get without even touching their notes. I feel so discouraged. The slight confidence that I gained after going tuition is gone. Everything is gone. I'm devastated, someone please kill me. I can't smile. I can't remember how to.

I can't take it anymore. I've cried and whined. I shall let alcohol overtake my body, my mind, and soul.