When it becomes so heavy for you to carry, you know that it's no longer a gift, it has become a burden. My heart is already dead so it's not going to die again this time.

I always thought that certain memories are to be kept deep inside the heart because those are some of the most wonderful times you had in life. However, I think otherwise now. I want to forget them all. I don't want them to haunt me. I want to move on and live a new life. I don't want these memories hinder my performance in life. I have already had my life screwed up once and I cannot afford to let it happen again. Recalling the past can bring back some wonderful times certainly. But what follows is pain, so painful that you wish that you are dead.

The story ended the way it was scripted. Things are expected and therefore there is nothing much to cling on to. I can't deny that I will take some time to get over this. It has been a big part of my life afterall and thus I will inevitably be affected by it to a certain extent. The time the story ended was a little unexpected though. Luckily I have been through enough shocks and hence it didn't come as a blow to me.

It sucked so much when you know that there is no one with you at that moment. You are left to bear everything alone. But oh well, I made it. I have been alone all along anyway. So many years of hardships taught me a precious lesson-that you only have yourself and no one else. Some people may have given you illusions while others made promises that seemed so real. As time passes, you have no choice but to accept the harsh reality that you have no one but only yourself. That's life.

Rewind, September 2002. That's where I came from, and it's time for me to return to where I belong.