Honestly, I don't like uni life. It's so individual. 3 weeks had passed and I have made only a couple of friends. Everyone seems so distant. People appear on time for lectures and tutorials and disappear on time too when time is up. Seriously, I have no idea who are in my tutorial groups. Mingling with friends is no longer applicable in uni to me.

Staying in hall isn't that fantastic to me afterall. I'm getting very sick of carrying my stuff back to home and from home every weekend or on Monday morning respectively. It makes me feel like an auntie when I have to carry NTUC plastics bags, a few of them, and squeeze onto the ever-so-crowded buses together with other students. Not to mention that my bed has bed bugs and I had to sleep on the floor for one whole week to avoid being stung by them. wth.

My life is getting very disorganised (not that it has ever been very organised anyway) and I am feeling terrible. I think this feeling is periodical. I will just get this feeling at certain time of the year. I would feel dreadful and lethargic and have no motivation to do anything or get anything done. Of course, there're factors that triggered this off which I shall not elaborate here. To summarise, a long period of low will result in lethargy in me. I am mentally drained and desperate for a source of motivation. I have even stopped taking photos because things appear black and white to me now rather than vibrant in colours. I am taking things the way they are rather than they way they should be. In other words, I have no expectations in whatsoever. There used to be effective methods to tackle this problem. However, I can't remember anything about them at this moment. In short, I am lost.

September 2002 is coming back so I am expecting a few things to happen. But no matter what, things cannot go back to the same now. All I can do is to pray hard and hope that this period will end soon. Perhaps I should pay the temple a visit someday. Maybe I should go up to a fortune teller as well.

I hope things will start go right soon.