The shame and embarassment have been constantly haunting me. They are the unconquerable and yet essential step towards picking myself up and starting all over again. The only soul who is capable of bringing me out of this world of terror had abandoned me. Tell me, is there a way to deal with self-rejection so as to stop self-destruction? 

When these problems are solved and I will be ready. I don't know when and where the ending is. It could cost the rest of my life, perhaps.

Stop haunting me. Let go of me. 

I don't deserve this.

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