Wth. Mixed feelings. I can't tell exactly how I'm feeling now. Perhaps I don't even know it myself. There are just so many things I don't know, though I wish I do. I know I have absolutely no right to but you just can't stop a curious mind. And, yea, I somehow managed to find out something unintentionally. But wth, I didn't expect myself to be reacting this way now. Why!? I just want to tell myself: hey, it's bullshit, bullshit bullshit bullshit. This should not be the case. It should never be the case! What's wrong with me? I'm for hell's sake jealous jealous jealous damn bloody jealous. I wanna scream. I wanna run in the rain.

I need to do something about it, before it's too late, before it's already beyond hope. I need to control, I think to relax. I need to take it easy, I need to slow down. I need to draw a line, I need to clear my mind. I need time to reflect, I need to spend some time with myself.

Who am I? Who are you to me?